


rooftops (lams)

by cynicalskinx



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: First Kiss, M/M, Mutual Crushes, Mutual Pining, Smoking, Soft Boys, kinda my aesthetic in a way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-18
Updated: 2017-08-18
Packaged: 2018-12-16 19:40:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11835687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cynicalskinx/pseuds/cynicalskinx
Summary: john sees that alex can't take a drag as easily as he can, so he decides to help in his own special way.





	rooftops (lams)

they overlooked the new york city skyline as it faded from dusk to nighttime, illuminating the sky with light purples and dark blues. street lamps stood tall and bright, more than ten stories below them, reaching every surface it's light could touch.

alex and john were on their apartment complex's rooftop. they did this every night that they weren't hanging out with friends. it may seem selfish that they didn't invite others up with them, but it was the only time they had together. it was a silent agreement that it was their spot only.

usually all of their friends would hang out after school because everyone was afraid of losing each other after college ended. they feared drifting apart from one another, so they made sure to spend every second they could as a group. everything was planned for the big bunch, so hardly any alone time was given.

but after school, when the sky got darker and the neon signs shone brighter, it was a different story.

alexander shuffled his weight from side to side on the air conditioner they were sat on. it was right by the ledge of the building, but neither wanted to take the chance of being too close and falling off accidentally. knowing their clumsy selves, it would happen.

john pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his hoodie's pocket and slipped out the last one he had left. he rolled the stick between a few of his fingers while he put the now empty box back. he grabbed his lighter and flicked his thumb, making the flame pop out. alex watched as the small flame glowed in the reflection in john's eyes.

he brought the cigarette up to his lips and the lighter to the end of it. he took a deep breath and pulled his lighter back. john closed his eyes and relaxed his shoulders, finally blowing the smoke out smoothly.

he tried to do it away from alex, but he hadn't anticipated the breeze becoming so harsh. the smoke blew into his face and he coughed while laughing at he same time. he swatted at the air, trying to get a clear breath.

"shit, fuck- sorry, i'll move." john swore as he got off the air conditioner and moved to the right of alex, where the wind was blowing away. "don't worry 'bout it." alexander answered with a small grin. john knew alex didn't smoke and he also knew what he did was a disgusting habit, but god if it didn't make him feel good.

the only thing that would ever make him quit would, in fact, be alex himself. john knows that alex disliked the smell of second hand smoke, and if quitting meant he got to spend more time with his best friend, he'd throw away all of his cigarettes in an instant.

he became addicted to the taste and smell of nicotine as a kid when his father would smoke three packs a day. john would ask his father to quit, since he knew that lung cancer could happen, but he'd slap john and tell him to leave him alone.

later on, he did develop cancer and passed, and john couldn't have been more happy for someone's death, as sick as it may sound.

john doesn't want to die, don't get him wrong. cigarettes just remind him of when his mother would hold him at night and she'd smell of henry. so he found comfort in it.

they reminded him of the time john stood up to his father one time, which didn't end well, but at least he tried. henry smiled two cartons that day. so john found pride in it.

they reminded him of a simpler, yet harder time. he wouldn't go back to then, but it's what he knows. john smoked for the first time at his father's funeral, and blew the gray air onto the coffin with ease, as he had been breathing it for years.

john's mother just laughed sadly at her son and held him close, also silently glad that he was gone. to put it simply, henry was a dick.

john breathed out while laughing softly to himself. call him sinister and he wouldn't disagree with you. alex looked over his shoulder and raised an eyebrow. "what's so funny?" he asked. john shook his head while taking in another puff.

"just reminiscing." he answered. alex nodded and turned his gaze back to the moon. he shivered slightly. it was mid october and all he had decided to wear was jeans, a t shirt, and a thin jacket.

john noticed this and frowned. he always told alex to wear something heavier, but he always insisted he'd be fine. a plain dumbass, in john's eyes. he sighed and took off his hoodie and put it in alex's lap, hinting at him to put in on. alex stared at it before pushing it back to john.

"no." he said. "it's yours." john rolled his eyes so far, they could've went to the back of his head. "wear it and stop talking." he insisted. alex knew there was no getting out of this, so he slipped on the bright orange hoodie and took in the stronger smell of john.

john always had a certain smell to him that alex could only describe in a few ways: money that's been through the washing machine, a brand new old car from the 70's, and nicotine. it was something that alex could fall in love with, and he had.

he remembers the day he decided he liked john more than a friend as if it was yesterday. that moment must've been the day everyone in the world damned him, because it was awful.

it hit him like a tidal wave. they were with laf and hercules at some bar as usual and john was in between drunk and hammered. their two friends were in the corner, making out intensely with each other. alex, on the other hand, was completely sober. he was their driver for the night after all.

john had whispered in his ear about how the bar was too crowded and they needed to leave. alex told the bar tender to call him once lafayette and hercules wanted to come home. they'd been there so often that the 'first name basis' thing had passed and they were now on, 'being able to tell this one bartender my entire life store and have them correct me on things i messed up'.

john slightly slurred alex directions as the two drove back to their building. it took alex a while to realize where john wanted to go, instead of just saying home. john staggered up the stairs with alexander holding his hand so he wouldn't fall down. he lead alex up to the roof, to which the door had no lock on it whatsoever.

they sat down where they were now and john too, lit a smoke. it was at that moment that alex realized.

john had his head tilted back, exposing his adam's apple even more, his freckles were highlighted under the moonlight, and his eyelashes casted long shadows upon his rosy cheeks. he looked so calm and at ease, that alex wanted to take a picture to capture the moment, but didn't. he felt his stomach swirl in sadness as it hit him. he didn't want to like john, though not complaining. he knew his feelings would never be returned.

almost the same exact thing was happening present time.

alex at the time didn't want to smoke at all and he thought it was absolutely disgusting, but that was about two years ago, and now he walked with john outside every time he needed to, just to be able to see and smell it with him.

"hey, can i get a drag?" alex asked confidently, pointing to the cigarette. john tipped his thumb over the edge, letting the ashes fall to the ground. he smiled. "you sure? you've got bad lungs, man, might not be the best." he joked.

alex shoved his arm. "let me do it dumbass," he says as he takes the cigarette from john. john chuckles a bit more loudly this time at alex's eagerness and crosses him arms over his chest, ready to watch him attempt this.

alexander took way too big a breath on his inhale and immediately starting choking. john, seeming to totally miss concern for his friend, and nearly fell to the floor with tears in his eyes from laughing so hard. it took both of them a few moments to collect themselves

"bitch." alex coughed as he handed john back the cigarette. john sat there for a second when an idea popped into his head. "lemme try something, okay? might be easier." he suggested. alex nodded, a bit confused as to what john was thinking of.

john told alex to close his eyes, to which he obeyed to. john took a small puff of smoke and kept it inside his mouth.

john cupped alex's face in one of his cold hands and hesitantly brought his lips to the younger's. alex nearly dropped his jaw to the floor, and john took that moment as the time to blow the smoke he had in his mouth, into alex's, slowly.

this time, alex didn't cough.

he could barely comprehend what was happening before john was about to push away. he quickly grabbed onto the collar of john's shirt and smashed their lips together in a desperate kiss. this was the taste he wanted, craved almost.

it tasted of smoke and coffee, and fuck, if they had a favorite taste before, it was definitely replaced by this, because this was just pure bliss.

alex was the first to pull away, needing to breathe. he rested his forehead against john's and whispered, "we should do that more often."

john smirked. "hell yeah." he was happy his plan worked and that alex didn't push him away in utter disgust.

he took one last drag of his cigarette before smushing the almsot gone cigarette underneath his converse shoe, and their mouths were together yet again.

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos are always appreciated!! also, sorry for any typos/ and or grammar issues.


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